Episode 11 - Happy New Year And 2013 In Retrospective

Merry Christmas and a Happy new Year!

Two Guys and Their Joysticks are back from the dead, arisen from the hiatus to bring you a special 2013 wrap up!

We discuss the best things to happen to video games, our favourites of the year, and some horrible gaming experiences that might forever disturb your childhood, puberty and adulthood.

Charlie “The English Dream” fires many shots towards game companies, and The Ever Polish Jacek whose accent is as always, more important than his opinion.

We wish everyone a Happy New Year and many wonderful moments in 2014!

…Also turns out the Frogger board game is like $25 on Amazon. Oops..

Facebook Page: Connect to us with your social stuff yo

Episode 10.5 - Top 100 Games to Play in the Summer

Summer is here! The glorious sun rises above the land, a comforting heat washes over us, and fun and festivities begin! But what are Two Guys and Their Joysticks hosts, Charlie 'The English Dream' and the ever Polish Jacek doing? Perhaps going to the beach? Maybe hanging out with their friends in the summer sun? NOPE, THEY'RE PLAYING GAMES! In this special episode, they invite you to check out fifty of their gaming recommendations each to kick off the sheltered-in season of digital hype. 

Here is the episode: Episode 10.5

Here is our Facebook Page: Eternal Happiness

Episode 10 - Droppin' Hot Thoughts

Welcome once again, to your weekly gaming podcast… Well, MOSTLY weekly. We have ben late on a few episodes! But never mind that! Back to normal in this episode, Charlie ‘The English Dream’ and the ever Polish Jacek return to their double-act banter and gaming larks. The news this week consists of:

- Microsoft stops charging devs for updates… About bloody time…

- Steam Workshop revenue sharing

- State of Decay and Saint’s Row 4 banned down under

- Bioshock Infinite DLC coming? Get hyped, Bio-nerds!

- Half Life 3 confirmed……………. LEL NO, but we have some rumours

- The Last of Us sexy time numbers

And of course, the games:

- Sniper Elite V2

- Spartacus: Legends

- Intrusion 2

- Marvel: Ultimate Alliance 2

To end the episode, our chaps have a chat about the state of arcades, their successes, their failures, and how long they might stick around for. As well, Charlie hypes over the prospect of House of the Dead 5. You get to play as Harry. Feel it, son.

Here's the official page: Facebook

Here's the episode: Episode 10

Episode 09 - A Wizard is Never Late...

Rolling in two weeks late (STYLISHLY late!), Two Guys and Their Joysticks presents a very special episode. Joined by the admin of Batman Memes, a popular Facebook page, Charlie "The English Dream" and the ever Polish Jacek once more set out to bring you what's goooooooood! First and foremost, the news:

- Another life in the industry lost...

- Hotline Miami 2 (Let the blood flow! >:D )

- The hypest GOG.com sale

- Trading of the Steam

Also, as usual, they digest the contents of a glorious gaming week:

- Metal Gear Solid

- House of the Dead 3

- Evoland

And, to finish off, a swindling chat on the Xbox One DRM 180 from the perspective of Jacek and our wonderful guest! We hope you enjoyed this special episode, and expect more treats like this in the summer to come.

Here's the official page: Facebook!

Here's the episode: Episode 9

Here's Batman Memes: Dem Batman Jokes, Yo

Episode 08 - Woooooow Extreeeme!

E3 has drawn to a close yet another year! There was smiling, laughing, Microsoft insults, and, best of all, a tonne of great games! Your hosts, Charlie "The English Dream" and the ever Polish Jacek dabble in post-E3 gubbins this episode, with discussions on their favourite stuff this year, things they didn't like and more, all with off-topic rants on things like live-action kids TV shows... Don't ask...

Also, as usual, comes a review of the games we played during the week, which are:

- Quadropus Rampage

- Lucius

- Conflict: Global Storm

Finally, to end the glorious E3 coverage, the guys host their very first E3 awards show! Get hyped for the announcements, kids. 

Here's our official page: http://www.facebook.com/TwoGuysandTheirJoysticks

Here's the episode: https://ia800901.us.archive.org/15/items/E08WoooooowExtreeeme/E08_%20Woooooow%20Extreeeme%21.mp3

(sorry for posting this one so late, luv you guuuys)

Episode 08.5 - DRM 180 no-scope

Join 'The English Dream' in a very special, short episode of Two Guys as he takes you listeners through Microsoft's latest and most important announcement regarding the Xbox One. Although the ever Polish Jacek isn't around this time, Charlie reads out the letter in full and delivers his opinions for all you guys to listen to and agree/ disagree with. Could Microsoft be back in the playing field of the console war? We'll see...

Here's the official page: http://www.facebook.com/twoguysandtheirjoysticks

Here's the episode: https://ia601804.us.archive.org/8/items/E08.5DRM180NoScope/E08.5_%20DRM%20180%20no-scope.mp3

The polish would like to apologise for not being there and leaving The English Dream on his own.

Also, you may be confused, what happened to episode 8? Don't you worry those dreamy eyes of yours our beautiful listener, it's coming. Tomorrow. Or today. Who knows. It is recorded. We've been busy <3 xoxoxoxox

Also, a very special episode coming this weekend, stay tuned! 

Luv yoo gais. 

~Polish

Episode 07.5 - Who'll be sucked next-gen?

Its E3 week, listeners! The games! The glory! But most importantly this year, the consoles! After watching both Microsoft’s and Sony’s conferences, and catching up with all the online information, Two Guys and Their Joysticks bring you an extra special episode. In it , Charlie ‘The English Dream’ and the ever Polish Jacek engage in a one hour battle royale to create a victor. The weapons? THE XBOX ONE AND THE PLAYSTATION 4! Which will be crowned the winning console? Who will seize the day? Find out in this fun, hilarity packed episode TODAY… Or later… You know… Whenever you feel like it…

Here is the episode link: https://ia801807.us.archive.org/24/items/Episode7.5WhoWillBeSuckedNextGen/Episode%207.5%20-%20Who%20will%20be%20sucked%20next-gen_.mp3

And here's our official Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/TwoGuysAndTheirJoysticks

Episode 07 - Shh No Tears, Only Dreams Now

*Two Guys and Their Joysticks would like to apologize for The Polish’s audio quality this episode. He thought the mic was working – it wasn’t. Next week will sound better, promise!*

Ladies and gentlemen, guys and gals, boys and girls, kids and kidesses, welcome back to the crazy gaming podcast, Two Guys and Their Joysticks! After returning from bloody battle in the last Mortal Kombat tournament, Charlie ‘The English Dream’ and the ever Polish Jacek rise to bring some exciting news on this week’s news in vidya gaems, like:

• Deus Ex: The Fall (A sequel… On tablet? Hmmm…)
• Precursor games pausing Shadow of the Eternals kickstarter D:
• Sony’s 40 exclusives at E3 (Look at Microsoft shaking in their booties!)
• FABLE: ANNIVERSARY OMG WTF SO HYPE
• A new WoW raid type
• Shitty dumb fucking twin stick piece of garbage Halo Windows 8 smelly shitty game… Shit (Charlie isn’t hyped)

Also, as per the weekly ritual (not the Satanic one), your hosts will discuss their latest gaming enjoyments, with:

• Paranautical Activity: Over-sensitive edition
• Fairy Bloom Freesia…….. I’M A MAN, OKAY?!
• The Art of the Mass Effect Universe Book
• Alan Wake (MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!)
• Battleblock theatre

The weekly discussion is a lovely chat about ports, with a focus on iOS ones. Witness gaming history, as well, when the guys create the new form of gamer vocabulary: Re-ports, when a game port changes big aspects (Minecraft iOS, Splinter Cell: Double Agent Xbox Original). Get hyped for that!

Again, we have a special, heart filled track for the break from the ever Polish Jacek. May his soul be carried safely through the afterlife.

Stay tuned to our Facebook page for the possibility and format of one or more E3 specials! Get hyped, kids. Get hyped.

Here’s the episode: http://ia600308.us.archive.org/17/items/E07ShhNoTearsOnlyDreamsNow/E07%20-%20Shh%20No%20Tears%2C%20Only%20Dreams%20Now.mp3

Here’s the official page: http://www.facebook.com/TwoGuysAndTheirJoysticks

Episode 06 - Vacate to Miami: A Bundle of Fun

Guess who’s back? Two Guys and Their Joysticks. Charlie ‘The English Dream’ and the ever Polish Jacek bring a game review focused episode this week, bursting with opinions on SEVEN different games featured in the Humble indie bundle 8! Also, however, is the regular news:

- Andrew Scott Reisse’s death (a sorely missed man in the industry)
- EToo, London’s alternative E3 experience
- Take Two publishing right onto iOS platforms

As mentioned, the guys also review all games in the Humble indie bundle 8. You’ll have 7 days to get your hands on the collection as of upload date. The games are:

-Hotline Miami
-Proteus
-Dear Esther
-Little Inferno
-Thomas was Alone
-Capsized
-Awesomenauts

Hurtling in lastly is the weekly discussion, this time about video game films. The chaps talk about movies they’d recommend, movies they wouldn’t, movies they want to see being made, and the Raging Boll (Visit Uwe Boll’s Wikipedia for LOLZ). 

Tune in next week for more news, reviews and a discussion on game ports! Enjoy, listeners! 

Here’s the episode: http://ia601709.us.archive.org/6/items/Episode6VacateToMiamiABundleOfFun/Episode%206%20-%20Vacate%20to%20Miami_%20A%20Bundle%20of%20Fun.mp3
Here’s the official page: https://www.facebook.com/TwoGuysAndTheirJoysticks

Episode 05 - Typical Topics

Welcome back, guys and girls, to another instalment of Two Guys and Their Joysticks. In this fateful episode, Charlie ‘the English dream’ and the ever Polish Jacek deliver the news they scavenged from the pre-E3 silence- they work hard to bring you the latest goodies, including:

-Dying Light reveal (so scary!)

-The Curiosity iOS project

-KotoR on the iPad

-Unity on iOS FREEEEEE!

-Final Fantasy 14’s collector’s edition (+1 XP for Square Enix)

-Fary Cry 3 map editor: BLOOD DRAGON EDITION, SON!

-Remedy’s future plans

The chaps tell us about their recent gaming hijinks, too. Charlie’s finally had a go at Papers, Please and also dipped into the Chinese ninja warrior game, Mortal Kombat: Deception. Jacek, wonderful as ever, describes the worryingly enlightening Plague Inc and the absolutely badassery of Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine.

A special treat for you listeners this episode is a fan letter from a game retailer employee. We get to see his insights into the Xbox One, which are very interesting! Furthermore, landing with a controversial BANG is the episode’s discussion on the Saint’s Row genre, where it’s going, how we feel about it and what other folks are saying.

Here’s the episode: http://ia801709.us.archive.org/14/items/E05TypicalTopics/E05_%20Typical%20Topics.mp3

Here’s the official page: https://www.facebook.com/TwoGuysAndTheirJoysticks

Episode 04.5 - Xbox Watercooler: Hushed Edition

You're in for a special treat this week! Two Guys and Their Joysticks brings you listeners a special episode dedicated to a discussion about the Xbox One. We laugh. We cry. But mostly, we get very, very disappointed. Both Charlie 'the English dream' and the ever Polish Jacek give their views and opinions on the 8th generation of consoles with a strong focus on Microsoft's VHS player- whoops, I mean 'gaming system'.

Disclaimer: this episode is somewhat quiet, totally not because Jacek was kicked out his office and forced to record in his bedroom and DEFINATELY not because Charlie was partially intoxicated. Listen at your peril.

Here's the episode link: https://ia601705.us.archive.org/17/items/E04.5XBOXWatercoolerHushedEdition/E04.5_%20XBOX%20Watercooler%20-%20Hushed%20Edition.m4a

Here's the official page link: https://www.facebook.com/TwoGuysAndTheirJoysticks

Episode 04 - So Cold, So Cold

Returning from the fiery realms of their gaming weeks, Charlie 'the English dream' and the ever Polish Jacek embark on their weekly journey once more!

In this chilling episode, we talk about some freezing news:

-This month's terrible and not so terrible movies
-DICE's new studio
-The Pixel Press Kickstarter (Support here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/robinrath/pixel-press-draw-your-own-video-game?ref=category)
-Scribblenauts: Unmasked
-Nintendo's YouTube disputes
-Destiny information
-Ubisoft sales

Also, come the ever helpful reviews of the games we've played through the week. Jacek tells us about the limited, pointless and IAP infected game called Guncrafter, as well as a look into the indie game, Binding of Isaac. Meanwhile, Charlie enlightens us to the hilarious antics of Armed and Dangerous while also dragging us through the violent, gruesome world of Killing Floor.

This episode's discussion revolves around DLC and season pass controversy. Do we need them? Do we like them? Will they continue to be used? Jacek certainly hopes not. You can view this discussion by paying a small podcast pass fee.

Not really. You got trolled, son!

In this episode's break is a cool treat, too! We bring a hot tune from the past down to the frosty depths of the present. Listening to this track will make your bones turn to ice and your brain transform into a miniature glacier. Get hyped, kids. Get hyped.

Here's the episode link: http://ia801705.us.archive.org/34/items/E04SoColdSoCold/E04%20-%20So%20cold%2C%20so%20cold.mp3

Here's the official page link: https://www.facebook.com/TwoGuysAndTheirJoysticks

See you in the next episode!

Episode 03 - Get Hyped!

Join Charlie the english dream and the average as ever polish Jacek on this weeks episode of Two Guys and Their Joysticks!
On this episode we get hyped about the following news:

- TimeGate layoffs,
- Eternal Darkness 2
- No one wants the WiiU :'(
- EA hacked!
- OUYA insane $15 million funding
- The forest
- Upcoming games and titles

After a refreshing break we come back to talk about games we've played and to lead a powerful and thrilling discussion on a pressing topic very close to our heart.
We also introduced user questions thanks to our brand spanking new facebook page "Two Guys and Their Joysticks" give us a like to be up to date with our news and to submit any questions you may have!

Here's the episode link: http://ia801707.us.archive.org/5/items/TwoGuysAndTheirJoysticksE01BioWareBrilliance/E02_%20Joshzilla_%20Slayer%20of%20Chairs%2C%20Desecrator%20of%20Podcasts.mp3

Here's the official page link: https://www.facebook.com/TwoGuysAndTheirJoysticks

Episode 02 - Joshzilla: Slayer of Chairs, Desecrator of Podcasts

In this weeks episode of Two Guys and Their Joysticks, not only do we reduce the penis jokes to the small amount of 1 towards the very end, but we also get into some game news, reviews and a big discussion which under the terror of Joshzilla becomes diluted ever so slightly.
But fear not, for the content is still fresh and full of energy.
The news from this week are:

New WoW Movie vfx supervisor, Kevin Conroy not in Arkham Origins, Watchdogs release dates, CoD: Ghosts announced, TimeGate chapter 11 bankrupcy, Batgirl confirmed in Injustice.
As Jacek didn't have time to game at all this week, Charlie carries the discussion by talking about The Thing, and Judge Dredd vs Zombies.

We then take you along into a romantic and touching story about love and friendship.
This is followed by a discussion about the development of MMORPG's (specifically Elder Scrolls Online) which almost burns into ashes with the surprise guest appearance of Joshzilla.

We have some audio problems in this episode but they're resolved later on.

Here's the episode link: http://ia801707.us.archive.org/5/items/TwoGuysAndTheirJoysticksE01BioWareBrilliance/E02_%20Joshzilla_%20Slayer%20of%20Chairs%2C%20Desecrator%20of%20Podcasts.mp3

Episode 01 - Bioware Brilliance

Hello and welcome to a brand new show featuring two wonderful personalities that share their thoughts and opinions on everything video games!

We have Charlie "Baby-Face" a stunning englishman, and Jacek "Turkeydipking" an above average polishman. The duo talk about video game news, discuss game related issues and topics, as well as review and talk about games.

In this episode, we introduce ourselves in an episode recorded at 1:00 in the morning with both of us tired and sick, but full of energy nevertheless!
The topics discussed in the first episode are;

News:
-Writer for next Mass Effect Game
-Square Enix and their $$$ problems as well as THIEF 4 development
-Bethesdas next game
 

Games:
Attack, Eternal Darkness
 

Final Discussion:
Mass Effect and BioWare in general.
 

We apologize for any audio issues and ask you to stick with us as we try to figure things out, next episode will definitely improve as Jacek wont have hayfever and Charlie would not go to the theatre to see an awful play.

Here's the episode link: http://ia601707.us.archive.org/5/items/TwoGuysAndTheirJoysticksE01BioWareBrilliance/Two%20Guys%20and%20their%20Joysticks%20E01_%20BioWare%20Brilliance.mp3